October 11, 2011

Taking a Time Out

After being sick for more than two weeks, I finally cried "UNCLE."

I called my boss (principal) and told him I needed a few days to recover from the physical and mental stress.  He was so gracious and understanding (or at least he pretended to be), and said to take the three days I'd asked for.  I headed to the doctor yesterday and found out I was sicker than I thought!  It would seem that letting a cold and cough linger for two weeks is really not good for you.  Interesting.  Anyway, I ended up with FOUR shots* (3 of which landed in my hiney), a prescription for some heavy-duty cough medicine so I can actually SLEEP at night (imagine that!), and a Z-pack.  Nice.  I am already feeling better, but following my doctor's advice and staying home through Wednesday just so I can rest and fully recuperate.  Normally, I'd just keep on going 90-to-nothing and get sicker and sicker and...You get my point.

So, today is Day 2 of staying home.  I am trying to rest and work on my school stuff (part of the extreme mental stress I mentioned earlier) while the kids are in school.  When Hannah comes home at noon, I try to work on being a better mom to her and give her some quality time.  When we pick up Andrew from Kindergarten at 2:30-ish, I try to give him some QT as well.  Its all about balance, and I have been WAY out of balance for a long time.

Everybody gets off-balance sometimes!
I have been working so hard on being a good teacher and school employee that I've been giving my all to them, which does not leave much for my family.  That is so unfair to them.  I come home at the end of the day exhausted and physically unable to be the wife and mom I want to be.  I spend all weekend trying to hang in there and do fun stuff with the kids and Chris, when all I really want is a quiet hour to myself to de-stress.  I have been sick for so long that I come home and collapse and am pretty much useless.  Not good.  My house is in chaos, and my poor kids...The mommy guilt is overwhelming.  I know, I know...I have to work.  They understand.  They still love me and they know they are loved.  I just feel so very guilty about it all.

I don't know.  All I can say is that I am so grateful for this doctor's note that gives me permission to rest and get to a better place...not just physically, but mentally as well.

*For those of you wondering what was in those 4 shots...Here you go.  One was an antibiotic shot (since I suck at taking pills), one was a steroid shot (to help me feel better quicker), one was an anti-inflammatory (to help my lungs recover from the coughing, and one was a B12 shot (bloodwork shows that I have a MAJOR B12 deficiency).



1 comment:

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