January 28, 2012

Thinking through a bad week

GAH.  This week was a rough one.  Not so much on the home front, but on the job/school front.  My 100 sixth graders were absolutely off the wall this week.  So much disrespect, so much attitude...sigh.  I guess I should be used to it by now, but by Thursday afternoon I had *had it*.  I was DONE.  I even got so mad I told my students I was quitting.  I grabbed an empty box that happened to be sitting in my room and started packing up all my personal items (pictures of my kids and things like that).  (And no, I wasn't doing it as a manipulation technique...I was truly considering walking out that door and never going back.)  They got SO QUIET.  It was amazing -- I had begun to think there was something physically wrong that these kids could not sit still and be quiet for any length of time...but they did it.  At the end of class I got several letters from them apologizing for being so rude and not listening to me.  Of course, I cried.  First I was crying because I was MAD and then I was crying because, doggone it, I really do care about my students.  UGH.  Sometimes I wish I didn't care. It'd be so much easier to just NOT CARE.  Then all the rude comments and behavior just wouldn't bother me.  Maybe I need to go back on my happy pills.
Friday morning I really didn't want to go to work.  I didn't want to see the kids.  Some part of me thought it would be great to be out and let the kids think I really DID quit because they were so bad.  But, that's mean and I just couldn't do it.  I went in, of course, and oh my goodness...I got clobbered with hugs.  They told me they were so relieved to see me, they were so sorry, they didn't want me to go...It was sweet.  I start to think I must be the worst teacher in the world and terribly ineffective, then my kids go and do this kind of sweet stuff.  Maybe I'm not the best teacher ever and maybe I never will be...but I know now that I matter to them.  In some way, I am making a difference in my students' lives. That's a nice feeling.  I know it'll be gone by Monday, so for now I am enjoying knowing that in some small way, I'm making a difference.

January 7, 2012

Wishin' for more time

I *so* wish I had more time to write down all the awesome, funny, sweet things my kids have been doing lately.  Seems like I rush home from school, spend a couple of hours with them, then its time for bath/bedtime.  After that hour-long ordeal, I'm exhausted and just fall into bed.  My energy and creative juices have been sucked dry.  I'm going to make more of an effort to write this stuff down, though, 'cause its pretty special and I don't want to forget it.

Just the other day Chris and I were reminiscing about Andrew being a baby and how he would lie in his crib and laugh hysterically while Chris made his stuffed animals sing and dance around him.  Andrew would squeal with laughter and flap his arms and legs in what we called "the punkin dance".  We have a video of it, and it still makes us laugh to watch it.
Seems like only yesterday he was 6 months old and the "punkin dance" was the highlight of our day.  Now he's a month away from SIX YEARS OLD and in Kindergarten.  What in the world happened??
Hannah is three going on twenty-three and bossy as all get out.  She says stuff like, "are you listening to me?" and "what did I tell you?"...She sounds just like me and Chris.  Wow.  She loves to be the leader when we go anywhere (as if we're really going to walk in the line), and of course Andrew has to argue about it.  We shut them down by reminding them that Mommy & Daddy are the bosses, not them (this seems to be news to them), and they are most certainly not the leaders.  Hannah is still velcroed to my side as soon as I get home.  That girl LOVES her mommy.  I love her, too, and I keep reminding myself that one day this will all be a thing of the past and I should be glad she *wants* to be with me so much right now...But OH.MY.GOSH. it is so hard right now.  I'm all "touched out" by the end of the day, which sucks for Chris.
She does such funny stuff, though.  She is ALL ABOUT the Disney princesses, and Andrew is still ALL ABOUT Star Wars.  Andrew likes to blow stuff up and Hannah likes to play dress-up.  They crack me up.  Oh, and in anticipation of the National Championship, Hannah was playing with a toy elephant today...I asked her what kind of animal she had.  Instead of saying, "elephant", her response?  ROLL TIDE!
Amen, little princess.  Roll, Tide, Roll! 
And with that, I'm being beckoned to the truck for a family outing.  Watch out, world...Here come the Irvins!

January 1, 2012

Welcome, 2012!

I can't believe yet another year has come and gone.  WOW.  Just for laughs, I went back and re-read my resolutions from last year and oh boy, did I blow it.  But, whatever.  Not gonna beat myself up over anything.  There's always time for a fresh start, right?
Today is a new day, the beginning to a brand new year, and I am going to enjoy every second as much as I can.  Resolutions?  Nah.  Not doing them this year.  By the end of 2012, I just want to be happier, healthier, and more appreciative of all the good things in my life.  That's it.  I hope 2012 brings good things to us all.

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