Sibling Rivalry

Oh, dear lord.  I knew this stage was coming...I just didn't know how exactly I should prepare.  I suppose no one truly knows how to prepare.  The depth and intensity of sibling rivalry around the house these days is truly awe-inspiring.  Andrew and Hannah both should give lessons.

First, there's Hannah, who is super-sneaky.  She waits until Andrew is distracted by video games before she stealthily sneaks over to his toys (mostly a gigantic pile of action figures that completely fill up a huge armchair in the corner of our den).  She'll play happily and quietly with all his things until BAM!  Something she does will catch his eye and then it is ON.  Andrew throws down the controller (huge no-no around here) and immediately starts screaming "she's got my fights! she's got my fights!*)  Hannah looks around innocently and starts shaking her head.  She'll grab one of the action figures and hold it tight to her chest and run away, denying she has anything that belongs to Andrew.  He'll be chasing her, hitting the wall, the floor, anything *but* her (because he knows he's not supposed to hit his sister), but when he finally loses it and does hit her, she cries as if he's ripped her arm off.  It's a beautiful thing.
*He calls his action figures "fights."  Not real sure why, but its always been that way, so whatever.

Then there's Andrew.  Andrew is sneaky, but in a different way.  He loves to make Hannah laugh, and getting her in trouble is so much fun for him.  One of his most favorite things to do lately is to say things like "poopoo head" over and over until Hannah repeats him.  Then, when Hannah starts to say it, he will run and tattle on her because he just loves it when we tell her its not nice to call people poopoo heads.  (I mean, yes, we happen to think it sounds hilarious coming out of her mouth, but really...we can't let her just walk around saying stuff like that.  What would people at church think?!?!  Heehee.)  So anyway, that's currently his favorite way to get to her: tattling.  Every.little.thing. she does gets reported to us.  Its rather exhausting.  It kinda makes sense, though, that this would be his way of getting to her...He talks all.the.time, so you know, telling us everything she's doing is just a substitution for telling us everything he's doing.  So, whatever.

So, am I alone here?  Anyone else got any awesome stories about sibling rivalry?  Tips on how to deal with the whining?  The tattling?  The crying?  Should I give up and just buy some wine for Chris and myself? (Kidding!  I think...)