Happy Pills

Time for complete honesty.  Here's what's up.  I had a really hard time after Hannah was born.  It was so bad that I mentioned it to my doctor at my 6 week postpartum checkup.  She prescribed Zoloft at that point and, two and half years later, I am still taking the stuff.  I have tried to stop cold turkey (BAD idea), and I've tried to wean myself off of it...Neither worked.  Lately I have had some pretty bad episodes of depression so I've sought out a Christian counselor to help me deal with the everyday stress of life but he can't really help with the medical side of things.  Today I went to see an MD who, in the mere 30 minutes I spent with him, helped me gain a whole new perspective on the medication thing.  So many people think its a sign of weakness that I have to take this medication daily but, as he put it, if your body needs a synthetic thyroid hormone - like mine does - you take it!  Apparently carrying and giving birth to a girl can mess with your seratonin levels.  (I didn't know that!)  If a person is predisposed to depression (and I believe I am), the hormonal changes can cause the brain to stop producing adequate levels of seratonin.  Also, my hypothyroidism can definitely contribute to depression, so its important for me to keep close tabs on my thyroid levels and keep my meds adjusted.  So here I am.  The doctor doubled my Zoloft dosage and wants to see me again in a month to see if things are better.  I feel positive about it and I hope that my sharing the honest truth helps somebody out there feel a little more normal.