August 24, 2010

Guilt-free

I'm trying really hard to do away with all the petty things I feel guilty about on a daily basis.  I didn't feel nearly as much guilt before I had kids, but man...I think they inject you with a megadose of mommy guilt at the hospital because every since Andrew was born, the guilt is overwhelming.  EVERYTHING is questioned...it drives me crazy.  I've been thinking a lot about it in recent months, and I've decided to share some things I here and now refuse to feel guilty about.

1.)  Screen Time.  The television is my friend.  Yes, I know, the AAP recommends no TV before 2 yrs old and only limited TV viewing after that.  What.ever.  The AAP can get.over.it.  TV gets me a few minutes of quiet...enough time to empty and reload the dishwasher/washer/dryer, fix dinner, and/or check Facebook.  Yes, I am a FB addict.  Andrew plays way too many video games on the Xbox, but the little dude can kick anybody's butt at Lego Star Wars.  We limit it, but we let him enjoy it.  Hannah loves to watch Spot and Elmo videos.  Veggie Tales are a HUGE hit around here.  So sue me.

2.)  Sibling Rivalry.  I used to feel so guilty about Andrew & Hannah's rivalry.  I felt guilty for rocking Andrew's world by bringing home another baby.  I felt guilty for loving Andrew so much when Hannah was just a stranger to me.  I felt guilty for saying "just a minute, Andrew" ALL.THE.TIME. when Hannah was so tiny and so very, very fussy.  Poor thing had such horrible reflux and we didn't find the right meds for her until she was 3 months old.  That was the longest 3 months of my life.  I felt guilty about Hannah never getting the chance to be the only child and have as much attention as Andrew got.  These days their rivalry is at an all-time high.  Hannah pushes and hits Andrew and he tries so hard to keep from hitting back.  I know they will get through it and they really do love each other...Having a sibling is going to be a huge blessing in their lives, so I an quitting the guilt.

3.)  Working.  Holy cow, this is the biggest source of guilt EVER.  I know I've blabbed on and on about it here before, but I am a much better mommy when I work.  I don't know if I've ever told this to anyone else but Chris, I had a c-section with Hannah (drama queen did NOT want to come out!) so I could have stayed home on maternity leave for 8 weeks but begged my doctor for a medical release to go back after 6.  I eventually went back after 7 weeks, but that's only because I had to wait on the paperwork.  I love my job.  Yes, I have those days where middle schoolers drive me crazy, but stay-at-home-moms and dads have plenty of days where they just want to be somewhere (anywhere!) else, too.  Chris stays home with the kids because its important for us that one of us be home with the kiddos, and yeah, its not what he wants to do with his life...but he loves them so he does it.  I love them, too, and I know I am much better at being the mommy they need when I get out and work.

There are so many other little things, but for now, this is enough.  If I can get over the guilt of these things, I think I'll be doing really well.  So what about you?  What do you feel guilty about?  How can I help you get over it and live guilt-free? :)

1 comment:

Lynette said...

Trash the guilt...and just parent with the knowledge that you already have....that God says to raise up a child the way he should go......you know the rest.

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