November 17, 2011

Potty Help, PLEASE!

So I posted this on my mommy Facebook page for our group of moms who all had babies in summer of 2008...I am having a difficult time with Hannah and the whole potty thing, and since no one on my mommy page will respond, maybe I can seek some help through the few of you who read this blog! :)
I would be calling family, friends, etc. for advice, except I still have no voice and it hurts to even whisper.
Anyway, here's what I wrote on my mommy board (its a total copy & paste):

Hannah is now 3 yrs and nearly 5 months old...and she STILL will not go potty. If the diaper is merely wet, she will take off her pants and change her own diaper/pull-up! If she's stinky, she will come and tell me or Chris so we can help her clean up. But she WILL NOT go to the potty before soiling herself. I do NOT get it. We've tried bribing (she found some adorable Princess panties and socks she went crazy for, so I bought them and told her she couldn't have them until she went potty all the time for 1 week. I know she knows better. She knows the feeling before she goes...She just doesn't care about being messy.
Chris (my hubby) is a stay-at-home-dad, and I told him that I think we need to just put her in panties, let her feel the wetness and dirtiness and maybe then she will hate feeling yucky so she'll decide to go potty. I feel like its a stubbornness issue. She just doesn't want to do what WE want her to do. He says he doesn't want to chase her around all day (plus, when she's in preschool, he doesn't want to make her teachers deal with that mess. Also, he says that, between picking her up from preschool and picking up Andrew from kindergarten, he will take her on "daddy dates" to the park and stuff, and doesn't want to deal with messes in her pants and taking like 5 changes of clothes everywhere. I see his point, but honestly, I don't think it will take that long before she "gets it."
I am off from school all week next week for our Thanksgiving break. We will be going out of town to be with my parents, but I'm still thinking I will try putting her in panties and seeing what happens. Am I crazy? If anyone else still fighting the potty issue? (Fight is the wrong word...we don't ever fight her -- that would just make her MORE stubborn! More like a mental fight in my own head...)  
Please help...Any help/tricks/ideas/support would be greatly appreciated!!


Anonymous said...


So sorry you are going through this! But it will get easier. Lots of people share advice, but that was for their situation, not yours. I hate to say it, but there is nothing you can do until Ms. Princess is ready.:0(

No amount of bribing or pushing will help until she makes the choice herself. I had only one start on his own initiative and "train" himself when he was 2, and that was our last one. Thank God, we are done, and you will be sooner than you think. "This too shall pass." Hang in there, Anna!!!~Allison

Jessica said...

I agree. She really won't potty-train until she's ready. She won't spend the rest of her life in diapers but she may not be ready just yet. She'll get it when she's ready and it won't be a battle when she is.

I will suggest that if you do put her in panties, get some rubber pants (they sell them at target and kmart) to put over the panties. That way she will still feel the wetness and the mess but your floor won't suffer and you won't have to change her entire outfit. Also, with Elizabeth, we took her to the store and she picked out her own panties so they were what she really wanted. The first time that she pooped in them, I told her that they were ruined and that I couldn't clean them and she watched me throw them away (I got them out the trash later and did clean them). We also let Elizabeth pick out her own reward for each time she went potty. She chose winnie the pooh puffy stickers and she got one each time she went potty. If she didn't go; she didn't get one.

The biggest thing is that both you and Chris need to be on the same page. You both need to be willing to put in the work. Since he's the one that is at home with her then you need to make sure that he is willing to continue whatever you start doing next week. If y'all aren't consistent with it then she won't be either. Kids are super observant and she'll latch on to any inconsistencies that she sees.

Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving!

Anna said...

Thanks, girls!
You're both right -- until she's ready, nothing's gonna work. She just has to figure it out! I do have some of the plastic covers, so that might really work! I bet if Chris didn't assume he'd have to clean up 100 messes a day he'd go for it, so maybe we can get on the same page and try it!
Ah're right, she won't go to kindergarten in diapers. Right? Right?? :) She'll eventually get it. I just need to learn patience. (But I want it NOW!) :)

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