I tell my kids I love them all.the.time. They probably get tired of hearing it, but I don't really care. Andrew has been having a really hard time emotionally (not sure what's up with him) so he's been disciplined a lot more than usual, and tonight after a bad tantrum, he just wanted to be held. Of course I held and rocked him and let him know how much I loved him.
As I rocked him, I asked him if he knew that mommy loved him no matter what. His answer made me stop rocking & singing and just think. He looked me in the eyes and said, "I know you love me, but Mommy, do you love yourself?"
I didn't know how to answer. I don't want to lie to my kid, so I said yes, I did, but that I love him more. He told me that he loves himself just as much as he loves me. That kid...I have already learned so much from him, but tonight he taught me a big lesson.
Lord knows I need to work on my self-esteem and loving myself...That's just going to take a lot of self-talk that is encouraging vs. discouraging. I need to believe what God tells me...that I am His child and He loves me just as I am. I need to believe my husband and friends who tell me they love me and that I'm worth something instead of shrugging it off and falling into the self-deprecation cycle. I probably to talk to someone and get through these issues so I can better get through these rough patches.
I read this post tonight on SDL's blog (check it out if you haven't!) and it hit me hard. Not so much the "blaming men" part, although I think he has a point for sure, but seriously...all the self-talk that women do to themselves that makes us feel worthless? Its ridiculous and needs to stop. As Stuart Smalley would say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"