December 30, 2010

Resolution #2

(not my actual resolutions)
OK, so earlier today (yesterday, rather, since it is now 1:08 am and I CAN'T SLEEP -- arggghhh!!) I wrote about my first New Year's Resolution for 2011.  What comes after 1?  2!!  Yes, blog, where there's a #1, there's a #2.  (That sounds like a potty joke, doesn't it?  Oh well.  Hey, its late and I'm a little "punchy.")

So I was thinking about myself and things I would like need to change about myself and my life, my mind automatically wandered to my family.  Before anyone gets all "whuck??" on me, just hear (read?) me out.  I adore my family.  I think that fact is pretty clear from what I write here.  Dude, I tell this computer how much I love my husband way more often than I tell my actual husband.  And this is where the problem lies.  I want my marriage to be the best it can be.  I know it'll never be perfect (because God knows *I* am not perfect, and neither is the hubs, but don't tell him!), but it could be better.  There's always room for improvement.  I don't want to have a so-so marriage, and I don't want the two of us to be strangers who are basically just co-parenting a couple of really awesome kids.

My second resolution, therefore, is this: 

I have a very specific plan in mind to get this point across to Chris, but I'm not sharing it with you.  As far as the kids go, however, this is my plan:  No Facebook, no blogging, nor any other superfluous computer usage until after they have gone to bed.  No TV either!  To avoid depriving Chris of the attention *he* needs, I will limit myself to one hour per week night of computer usage.  That way the kids and Chris get my full attention when I arrive home from a long day at school.  Its just not fair for me to plop down, tired as I may be, and zone out in front of the TV or computer and be "there but not there", if you know what I mean.  I know too many people whose parents came home from work and just zoned out instead of playing with or talking to them, and it hurt them deeply...still hurts them to this day.  I don't want to be that parent.  On the weekends, I will allow myself one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening (again, after they have gone to bed) of computer time so as to give them and me a mental break but not cross the line into depriving them of my love and attention.

Hannah is a special kind of kid, and her love language is definitely "quality time."  I need to be with her, snuggling or playing with her, so that she knows how much I adore her.  She desperately needs that.  Andrew loves gifts, but he also just loves when I sit with him and play a two-player video game with him or look at a book with him.  He talks my ear off, sometimes, but one of these days he won't tell me ANYTHING and I'll be begging him to talk to me, so I am going to appreciate and soak up every minute I can while it lasts.  I would also like to implement weekly "dates" with my kiddos one-on-one, even if its just me and Hannah going to the grocery alone, or Andrew & me, hanging out and playing in the backyard.  They both need and deserve individual attention.  When they constantly have to fight to be heard, life is not a lot of fun.  I want more fun in my life...doesn't everyone?

So there it is.  My first and second resolutions for 2011.  There's one more...But that will have to wait.  Its now 1:38 am and I am going to try to get some sleep.

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