July 18, 2010

Is it August yet?

Call me crazy, but I am ready to go back to school!  I love my kids, I've had a great summer with them, but between Hannah's separation anxiety and both of the kids' newfound level of sibling rivalry, mommy needs a break.  I'm sure Chris needs a break, too, and I know he is not looking forward to having them all day every day while I work, but honestly...they behave much better for him than for me.  For some reason, it seems they function better with one parent than with two.  A friend of mine, after listing to Chris and me vent about this very thing, suggested that maybe its because they know where the line is with Chris, and they know where the line is with me, but when we are together, they are just not sure about where the "line" is.  Maybe he is right.  There are definitely some things Chris lets them do that I do not, but most of the time, I am the one who is too lax, too permissive, and gives them maybe a little too much freedom. I always thought (before I had kids and had NO clue what parenting was actually like) I would be the disciplinarian parent and Chris would be the "good guy" - the playmate, the easygoing dad.  Turns out its the opposite.  Something we should talk about and work out, for sure.

Anyway, here I am...ready for school to start!  I love seeing the school supplies out when we visit Target or Wal-Mart.  I love the thought of a brand new year, a new start, new students, all the great possibilities.  Yes, I am a dork, but hey...that's me.  I love teaching.  Like parenting...some days are bad, but most days are good.  All in all, I love my job and wouldn't/couldn't do anything different, and I just don't see what is so wrong with that. :)  I love my kids, believe me, but by the end of the day I am all "touched out" from my velcro baby girl and all talked out by my motormouth son.  I feel like I am much better wife and mom when I am able to get out and do something different, be around adults, etc.  Granted, there's not a lot of time to talk to other adults when you are so focused on teaching the kids, but still...there's before school, lunchtime, and after school.  Its nice.  I love my principal, love the people I work with...couldn't imagine a better place to teach.  When I come home from school, I am engaged with my kiddos and feel like my time with them is more "quality" time, whereas by this point in the summer, its just "quantity"...Also, when I am working, I feel like I am a much better wife because I can talk to my husband and I'm more interested in his day because I've been away from him, whereas during the summer we are together all.day.every.day.

Maybe this tirade is just my way of easing my guilt over being a working mom, but whatever.  If you think I'm terrible for working outside the home, please don't let me know.  I am much too sensitive. :)  If you understand and can help me feel better/more normal for wanting (needing) some time away from the kids, then go for it!  Thanks for reading!

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