Life goes on...

Whew! Lots of stress around here lately...First, our septic system started having major problems and it cost us around $800+ to get the pump replaced. Then, our Camry started driving really crazy...got it checked out, and sure enough, that was another $800 repair (but worth it to fix!). A few days after that, we got hit with some major rainstorms and our roof started leaking. Awesome. They say things happen in threes, so I'm hoping that's it for now. I'm so grateful for a good job so we can handle little (big) things like this. Its definitely not easy, but I have been able to pick up a couple of tutoring jobs for extra money and Chris' business is going well overall, so we're okay.

Some bad news came along late last week and I've been worrying over it for awhile, so I might as well talk about it. My stepmom Linda was diagnosed around a year ago with bile duct cancer...there's a tumor about the size of a hen egg in her liver. It was spotted during an echocardiogram of all things. So who knows if it ever would have been found if she hadn't been having those random heart palpitations? Anyway, after a year of chemo and embolization treatments, the latest scan shows that the tumor, which was 1.5" originally, is now 2". Not only has it NOT shrunk...the thing has grown. Ugh. I freaking hate cancer. They will be doing another MRI tomorrow and so far, I think the plan is to start the cyberknife treatments at double the dosage to see if there is any effect. Praying and praying for her total healing.

Andrew and Hannah spent the weekend sick. :( Andrew has been running a mild fever (like, no more than 100.5, but enough to just make him feel crummy), and Hannah was up all night Friday night vomiting. She has been fine since Saturday morning @4 am, but today has had some different tummy issues. Poor babies. Chris is not feeling too well either.

Despite all this (and yeah, this post has become quite the downer, huh?), God is so good to us and I feel so very blessed. My kids and husband make me laugh every day. My job is enjoyable 90% of the time, and I have a (messy, chaotic) house to come home to. I am spoiled and don't deserve any of it, so I'll just say THANK YOU GOD and keep on doing what He has put me here to do. :)

Meanwhile...

Good grief, I just realized its been over two months since I blogged.  CRAZY.  I have very good intentions...I do...but life has this crazy way of going way too fast and leaving me with not too much time to do the things I want and need to do.  Basically, I live in "survival mode" most of the time.

Anyway.  Lots of news!  Andrew was recommended for gifted testing at school!  It would be so great if he could get into the gifted program, since that opens up a lot of opportunities and keeps him in more challenging classes, which would be very good for him.  When he was tested, however, he was being very silly, so I won't be surprised if it doesn't happen this year.  And its no big deal if he doesn't get in this year.  He can be tested again in second grade.  Of course, he may just not qualify for gifted classes, and THAT'S OKAY.  I don't want to pressure him, but of course I want the best for him.  I look forward to getting the results to see if he qualifies for gifted education.  He still loves Star Wars, but also appreciates a good superhero or two.  Iron Man is the current favorite.  Transformers are a hit as well.  He is ALL BOY.
Hannah has had a verbal explosion and talks ALL.THE.TIME now.  If I thought Andrew talked a lot, I had no idea what was coming!  This girl can TALK.  She starts most of her sentences with "please," which can be very funny.  She can operate the XBOX, Wii, and iTouch like nobody's business and she has to help me figure it out most of the time.  She will only wear dresses unless we absolutely forbid it, and that girl loves her some shoes.  She has more shoes than I do, I believe.  The Disney princesses and Strawberry Shortcake are her best friends these days.  She loves to dress up and wear her tiara as often as she can.
Chris is doing an AMAZING job with his online business.  We loaded up a truck full of his inventory (mostly video games, but also some DVDs, computer equipment, etc.) and went down to the city-wide yard sale that happens twice a year, and we made nearly $900!  Awesome.  He has a thriving little business and its perfect for working with his stay-at-home dad schedule.  We're looking towards him going back to work full-time next year.
As far as next year, I assume I will still be teaching school, Andrew will go to 1st grade, and Hannah will enroll in the lottery-funded pre-K program at a daycare that's basically in my school's front yard.  Andrew will ride the bus to my school in the afternoons and after we get out, we'll go pick up Hannah from pre-K and head home.  Ideally, this will run smoothly and everyone will be happy. :)
So that's what's been happening in my house...If anyone out there is still checking in, I'd love to know what's up with you!

Wishin' for more time

I *so* wish I had more time to write down all the awesome, funny, sweet things my kids have been doing lately.  Seems like I rush home from school, spend a couple of hours with them, then its time for bath/bedtime.  After that hour-long ordeal, I'm exhausted and just fall into bed.  My energy and creative juices have been sucked dry.  I'm going to make more of an effort to write this stuff down, though, 'cause its pretty special and I don't want to forget it.

Just the other day Chris and I were reminiscing about Andrew being a baby and how he would lie in his crib and laugh hysterically while Chris made his stuffed animals sing and dance around him.  Andrew would squeal with laughter and flap his arms and legs in what we called "the punkin dance".  We have a video of it, and it still makes us laugh to watch it.
Seems like only yesterday he was 6 months old and the "punkin dance" was the highlight of our day.  Now he's a month away from SIX YEARS OLD and in Kindergarten.  What in the world happened??
Hannah is three going on twenty-three and bossy as all get out.  She says stuff like, "are you listening to me?" and "what did I tell you?"...She sounds just like me and Chris.  Wow.  She loves to be the leader when we go anywhere (as if we're really going to walk in the line), and of course Andrew has to argue about it.  We shut them down by reminding them that Mommy & Daddy are the bosses, not them (this seems to be news to them), and they are most certainly not the leaders.  Hannah is still velcroed to my side as soon as I get home.  That girl LOVES her mommy.  I love her, too, and I keep reminding myself that one day this will all be a thing of the past and I should be glad she *wants* to be with me so much right now...But OH.MY.GOSH. it is so hard right now.  I'm all "touched out" by the end of the day, which sucks for Chris.
She does such funny stuff, though.  She is ALL ABOUT the Disney princesses, and Andrew is still ALL ABOUT Star Wars.  Andrew likes to blow stuff up and Hannah likes to play dress-up.  They crack me up.  Oh, and in anticipation of the National Championship, Hannah was playing with a toy elephant today...I asked her what kind of animal she had.  Instead of saying, "elephant", her response?  ROLL TIDE!
Amen, little princess.  Roll, Tide, Roll! 
And with that, I'm being beckoned to the truck for a family outing.  Watch out, world...Here come the Irvins!

It's Magical, Y'all

Oh my goodness.  This Christmas has been the most magical, chaotic, crazy, wonderful one yet...and its only Christmas Eve!  This is the first year that both kids have understood the magic of Christmas.  Of course they are thrilled to tears that Santa is on his way, and it was ca-ray-zee trying to get them to go to bed tonight (Andrew was wanting to stay up and watch Santa's journey on NORAD) but we finally convinced them to both go to sleep.  Now, I sit here watching a movie (Water for Elephants...never read it or seen it) and thinking about how awesome it is to see Christmas through the eyes of a child again.

Have I lost my cool, wanted to throttle them a few times over the past week?  Yes!  Lord knows they have gotten too hyper  and LOUD with the excitement of it all, but...I understand.  Its magical!

Today we had our "family Christmas" and opened presents from each other.  We thought the kids might be too overwhelmed with all the presents AND the Santa gifts, so we thought we'd spread it out.  They got a chance to play with their presents and put out the reindeer food before we headed to church for the Christmas Eve service.  Afterwards we came home to bake cookies for Santa.  Andrew even offered up his Star Wars plate for us to use.  SO cute. I simply cannot wait to see their faces when they wake up in the morning and see what "Santa" brought.

In the midst of all the Santa stuff, though, I hope we've done an adequate job of making sure they understand what Christmas is REALLY about...the birth of God's Son, Jesus Christ.  As a Christian, I want my kids to know Him and share my faith.  I want them to understand that we give gifts as a symbol of the greatest gift ever given, the Son of God sent to live and die among us so we might know God and have a relationship with Him.  Tomorrow, after the excitement of the morning, we will sit the kids down and read them the story of Jesus' birth so they remember why we do all this...why this season gives hope to so many.

Whoever you are, wherever you are...I hope God blesses you this Christmas with love and peace, and most of all, JOY.

Break from school = Plague upon my house

So apparently being out of school for any reason gives my kids the plague.  Remember Thanksgiving break?  Seriously.

Thursday, Chris gets a call from Hannah's preschool @ 10:30 (approximately ONE hour after dropping her off).  She's throwing up and has a fever.  Awesome.  She's feverish all day, but sleeps pretty well that night.  We put her to bed at 6:30 pm and she slept until 11:30 am Friday morning.  Freakin' awesome.  We're thinking she quite literally "slept it off" and would be just fine from here on out.  NOPE.

Friday is the last day of school for mommy and Andrew, and we're all happy and looking forward to a nice, relaxing break...Hannah, however, has other plans.  She was literally up ALL NIGHT.  Every 30 minutes I was awakened to a serious coughing fit, usually ending in her vomiting up food or, when that well ran dry, coughing up phlegm.  I felt really sorry for her until about 2 am.  After that, I was just seriously wanting sleep.  Believe me, we tried cough medicine, Benadryl (Because, for the love of God, just SLEEP!  Plus, I was thinking maybe it would help dry up the mucus.), Vicks vapor rub, a vapor plug-in next to her bed, a humidifier...It was like having a newborn in the house, but both newborns I brought home from the hospital slept WAY more than Hannah did last night. 

Chris left the house @ 7 am this morning (I think...I was so out of it from sleep deprivation, I can't say for sure) and has been gone all day.  I am so, so very tired.  He has been at the flea market all day trying to sell our crap treasures, so I know he is going to be tired and wanting to just relax and chill out, but ohmydearLord I am exhausted.  I could quite honestly fall asleep ANYWHERE...even right here, typing this.

ZZZZZZZZ...
 

See? I'm not a slacker after all!

Woohoo!  Just ordered my Christmas cards and had to share...Check them out!

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

(This also works to say MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the folks we forget to/cannot send cards to this season!  Love you all!

Back in the Swing of Things!

Watch out.  This cleaning bug is NO JOKE.

Well, we survived the great plague of 2011!

Everyone is FINALLY back to full health and doing great.  Thank you, God.

It was a crazy week at school (for teachers, anyway).  I found myself asking, "Is it Friday yet?" on Monday afternoon.  NOT a good sign.  I usually can make it until at least Wednesday afternoon before that question crosses my mind.  The students are acting like Christmas is tomorrow, and we still have two more weeks until Christmas Winter Break.  Sigh.  I suppose we'll make it. :)

Andrew and Hannah are doing great...This is the first year I think both of them really "get" what Christmas is, and its magical seeing them get into it. Hannah has been singing, "Happy Birthday, Jesus" and Andrew keeps talking about baby Jesus.  So cute.  They love seeing the lights and decorations everywhere (not at our house...yet...but everywhere else).  Of course, they're all about Santa, too, and can't wait to see what Santa brings them.  They both have WAY too much on their "lists" but oh well.  Someone probably needs to explain the economy to them and help them see that even Santa is going to have to cut back this year.  Oh well.

Andrew is spending the weekend with Chris' dad and stepmom and they are taking him this afternoon to see the Grinch at the Fox Theater.  He will have a blast, I know it.  Hannah is really enjoying being the only child this weekend, that's for sure!  Its nice...She's a great helper, which is awesome since I've been bitten by the cleaning bug.  Last week we noticed the dryer was taking way longer to dry our clothes, so this morning I crawled behind it, noticed the hose had come loose, so I reattached it and ended up scrubbing the floor while I was back there.  Who knew it could get so NASTY underneath a major appliance??  Grody.  So anyway, that started me thinking about how much ELSE there was to clean.  (Face it, after being so sick and then traveling to TN, the house was not in pristine condition...not that it ever is!)  I've moved furniture and swept the den, then swept and mopped the kitchen floor.  I'm currently waiting for it to dry so I can move on to other rooms.  (If I dare try to tiptoe across it, Hannah will follow me and I'm afraid she'll slip and fall  Hey, that's my excuse story and I'm sticking to it.)

Dang, I just noticed the floor is pretty much dry.  Off to clean more rooms!  Somebody take my temperature...I must be ill again.

Sick and Tired...

...of being sick and tired! 

Ugh!!

I should be grateful that I no longer have the intense throat pain, and my voice is slowly but surely coming back, and Andrew is so much better, thanks to the "pink stuff" (amoxicillin).

However.

Chris is now WORSE instead of better.  I'm not sure if he caught my sore throat virus or what, but he's miserable.  Hannah is running a fever and is just miserable...Poor thing doesn't appear to have pink eye, but there's some kind of green eye boogers that keep accumulating in the corner of her left eye, and she's coughing constantly...its just so pitiful.  She went to bed tonight at 6:30 pm.  She'll probably be awake at like 6 am, which will suck, but I just couldn't force her to stay up anymore.  Poor baby.  I feel like we did this to her...although I have no idea what other option there was.  We have no one closeby to call and say, "Hey, can you take Hannah for a few days so she doesn't get sick?"  Yeah, I don't think I know anyone who would be willing to do that.  I guess it was just inevitable for her to catch it.


As for me, I am better, but now the pain/congestion is no longer in my throat and chest...its in my nose and head.  Maybe it will find its way out soon.  Sigh.  I'm just so stinkin' sick of being sick.  Enough is enough.  For now, we are quarantined in our house and praying for the apocalypse.  I might make cookies or something while we wait to die.

Potty Help, PLEASE!

So I posted this on my mommy Facebook page for our group of moms who all had babies in summer of 2008...I am having a difficult time with Hannah and the whole potty thing, and since no one on my mommy page will respond, maybe I can seek some help through the few of you who read this blog! :)
I would be calling family, friends, etc. for advice, except I still have no voice and it hurts to even whisper.
Anyway, here's what I wrote on my mommy board (its a total copy & paste):

Hannah is now 3 yrs and nearly 5 months old...and she STILL will not go potty. If the diaper is merely wet, she will take off her pants and change her own diaper/pull-up! If she's stinky, she will come and tell me or Chris so we can help her clean up. But she WILL NOT go to the potty before soiling herself. I do NOT get it. We've tried bribing (she found some adorable Princess panties and socks she went crazy for, so I bought them and told her she couldn't have them until she went potty all the time for 1 week. I know she knows better. She knows the feeling before she goes...She just doesn't care about being messy.

Chris (my hubby) is a stay-at-home-dad, and I told him that I think we need to just put her in panties, let her feel the wetness and dirtiness and maybe then she will hate feeling yucky so she'll decide to go potty. I feel like its a stubbornness issue. She just doesn't want to do what WE want her to do. He says he doesn't want to chase her around all day (plus, when she's in preschool, he doesn't want to make her teachers deal with that mess. Also, he says that, between picking her up from preschool and picking up Andrew from kindergarten, he will take her on "daddy dates" to the park and stuff, and doesn't want to deal with messes in her pants and taking like 5 changes of clothes everywhere. I see his point, but honestly, I don't think it will take that long before she "gets it."
I am off from school all week next week for our Thanksgiving break. We will be going out of town to be with my parents, but I'm still thinking I will try putting her in panties and seeing what happens. Am I crazy? If anyone else still fighting the potty issue? (Fight is the wrong word...we don't ever fight her -- that would just make her MORE stubborn! More like a mental fight in my own head...)  

Please help...Any help/tricks/ideas/support would be greatly appreciated!!

Fight Club

I swear, its like kiddie fight club in my house these days.  (I know, I know...The first rule about fight club?  Never talk about fight club.  Still.)  Andrew and Hannah's sibling rivalry seems to be at an all-time high.  Yesterday Hannah woke up, came downstairs, and walked over towards Andrew's toys.  His response?  Smack her in the face.  ?!?!  He has never done that before, so I was shocked.  Hannah promptly pushed him back (that girl is NO easy win!) and then they were both crying.  Chris, being the fabulous guy he is, had let me sleep in but I couldn't help but wake up when I heard the crying.  By the time I got up and got my lazy butt downstairs, they had both been sitting in time-out for a good while and were on "Level 3."*
The rest of the day kind-of went the same way.  We had some periods of happiness, especially when Poppy and Nana (my dad and stepmom) arrived for their visit, but for the most part the kids have been at each other's throats more than ever before.  I was thinking that, with Andrew in school all day and Hannah at preschool, the time apart would help make this stuff better.  Not happening.  Hannah goes to preschool from 9-12 every weekday, with two days a week when she is there ALL day (picked up after Andrew gets picked up from school).  According to Chris she is fantastic when its just them, but as soon as Andrew gets picked up she gets CRANKY.  I guess she just wants to be the only child or something.  She's definitely not a fan of sharing attention.  Andrew is usually sweet, but oh.my.lord...if Hannah dares get anywhere NEAR his toys?  Meltdown!  He cries and cries and cries...I keep telling him that the more he freaks out, the more she wants to keep doing whatever it is she's doing.  Its as if they LIVE to annoy each other.
I don't know what the solution is, or if this is just a phase, but I am ready for the fight club to be shut down.

Taking a Time Out

After being sick for more than two weeks, I finally cried "UNCLE."

I called my boss (principal) and told him I needed a few days to recover from the physical and mental stress.  He was so gracious and understanding (or at least he pretended to be), and said to take the three days I'd asked for.  I headed to the doctor yesterday and found out I was sicker than I thought!  It would seem that letting a cold and cough linger for two weeks is really not good for you.  Interesting.  Anyway, I ended up with FOUR shots* (3 of which landed in my hiney), a prescription for some heavy-duty cough medicine so I can actually SLEEP at night (imagine that!), and a Z-pack.  Nice.  I am already feeling better, but following my doctor's advice and staying home through Wednesday just so I can rest and fully recuperate.  Normally, I'd just keep on going 90-to-nothing and get sicker and sicker and...You get my point.

So, today is Day 2 of staying home.  I am trying to rest and work on my school stuff (part of the extreme mental stress I mentioned earlier) while the kids are in school.  When Hannah comes home at noon, I try to work on being a better mom to her and give her some quality time.  When we pick up Andrew from Kindergarten at 2:30-ish, I try to give him some QT as well.  Its all about balance, and I have been WAY out of balance for a long time.

Everybody gets off-balance sometimes!

I have been working so hard on being a good teacher and school employee that I've been giving my all to them, which does not leave much for my family.  That is so unfair to them.  I come home at the end of the day exhausted and physically unable to be the wife and mom I want to be.  I spend all weekend trying to hang in there and do fun stuff with the kids and Chris, when all I really want is a quiet hour to myself to de-stress.  I have been sick for so long that I come home and collapse and am pretty much useless.  Not good.  My house is in chaos, and my poor kids...The mommy guilt is overwhelming.  I know, I know...I have to work.  They understand.  They still love me and they know they are loved.  I just feel so very guilty about it all.

I don't know.  All I can say is that I am so grateful for this doctor's note that gives me permission to rest and get to a better place...not just physically, but mentally as well.

*For those of you wondering what was in those 4 shots...Here you go.  One was an antibiotic shot (since I suck at taking pills), one was a steroid shot (to help me feel better quicker), one was an anti-inflammatory (to help my lungs recover from the coughing, and one was a B12 shot (bloodwork shows that I have a MAJOR B12 deficiency).

Ahem.

Grr.  I had this whole long post going, and Blogger ate it.  Sigh.

So anyway...here goes.  Take two!
Whew, its been awhile since I've written!  The chaos of school has been taken to an entirely new level this year with Andrew starting Kindergarten!  Normally the school year brings lots of busy days/weeks, but now there's Andrew's school schedule to consider as well.  I am loving my mornings alone with him.  We have this nice little routine all carved out, and it works for us.  He still cries when I drop him off at school, and he begs me to walk him in, but its getting better.  He's fine as soon as he gets inside the doors, so its all good.  The teachers and administration clearly love him and look forward to seeing him every day when I drop him off, and that makes me feel good. :)  The one area I'm struggling is with homework!  I am SO not used to him having homework.  I'm used to coming home and being able to just play with my kids for the two or three hours we have before the nightmare that is the bath/bedtime routine.  I've caught myself not remembering homework until maybe 10 minutes before leaving in the morning.  Not good!  I'm trying to get better.

Andrew is amazing me with the stuff he's learning and talking about.  He's reading so well...The other day he was telling me all about the states of matter (you know...solids, liquids, gases).  I was in shock.  I don't think we learned that stuff in kindergarten!  Anyway,  school has been so good for him.  He has great friends and is obviously on track academically.  He still needs to talk less in class (duh -- could've seen that coming a mile away), but overall he's just a normal, healthy, 5-year old boy.
This week we are on Fall Break.  I know, it seems early for Fall Break, doesn't it?  We started on August 1, though, so this is six weeks in, so its time for a break!  Today Chris' mom and stepdad came in for a quick visit.  (They are leaving early in the morning, flying to Guatemala for a three-week mission trip.)  Andrew & Hannah have been having a BLAST playing with them.  When they arrived, I tried to ask Jane a couple of questions, but Andrew cut me off, saying "Mommy, stop!  She's MY Mamaw, not yours!" and he has completely monopolized her time ever since.  At this moment, she is upstairs reading him a bedtime story or trying to persuade him to go to bed.  I love it when the grandparents come to visit.
Other than the normal chaos of everyday life, nothing too exciting is going on here!  What's going on in your part of the universe?

Coming or Going?

Wow, its been quite a month!  I honestly don't know if I'm coming or going these days...

Since I last blogged, Andrew and I both started our school year...his first year of school (Kindergarten!  Can't believe it!) and my eighth year of teaching.  I tell you what, having a kid in school is a major life change!  I am accustomed to getting up early and getting to school around an hour early so that I have plenty of time to get organized, get woken up, and get ready for the day.  No more of that!  I now have to get Andrew up @ 6:45 am, head out the door @ 7:15 to get him to school @ 7:20 or right afterwards (I still feel guilty about getting him there 30 minutes early, but I really have no choice) and get to my own school by 7:45 at the earliest.  Teachers are supposed to arrive by 8 am, so I make it just in time most days.  We technically have a planning period every day, but most days that time is filled with meeting after meeting, and since I leave as soon as I can (so I can get home and see my kiddos), I feel like I am getting NOTHING done.  I feel so unprepared, so behind already!  Not a good feeling.  I guess I am going to have to stay late a few days a week so I can get some things done and (hopefully) not have to bring any work home.  I've always prided myself on not having to bring much work home at all, but I have a feeling that may not be the case this year.

So, like I said, Andrew is in Kindergarten and doing...okay, I think.  If you're a friend of mine on Facebook, you know that he has been having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the rules and procedures of the school environment.  (He came home from school the first day telling me he had three time-outs that day.  One for talking (surprise, surprise), one for making people laugh (again, big shocker there), and one for building a Lego gun (oops).  I did talk to the teacher and she said it was only one time out, and it was because he just wouldn't stop being silly and distracting everyone when they had asked him twice to stop.  No biggie.

Andrew has been in preschool since he was two years old, but it was a three-hour program, not an all day thing, like Kindergarten is.  Also, he had some really awesome teachers there who loved him and understood him and probably let him get away with too much because they just loved him so much.  Not happening in Kindergarten.  I was a bit discouraged to see that every single day he was getting his "clip" moved.  (They have a color system going...Yippee Yellow is best, then it moves down to OK Orange, then Watch Out White, then Boo-Hoo Blue, then finally Red Hot Red.)  About three days a week he has an "OK Orange" day, and the other two are "Yippee Yellow"...I know I shouldn't worry about just moving down one step, but he's my kid and I'm entitled to overreact, ok??  I don't want him labeled as the "bad kid" or have anyone telling me he needs meds to sit still and pay attention.  I feel confident that his teacher is understanding and knows little boys, so when she tells me this is normal and he's just figuring things out, learning where the boundaries are, etc., I feel a bit better.  I just can't help but worry a little, though.

Hannah is LOVING being back in school...She is in the three-year-old class at the same preschool she and Andrew have been at for the past couple of years.  She is so good for her teachers, thank God.  She and Andrew are both so tired from the school schedule, though, that at the end of the day they are cranky and fussing over the stupidest things.  I finally started reading Siblings Without Rivalry, though, and am trying to put some of those tips into practice.  Also, they are both going to bed @ 7 pm on school nights.  Way early, I know, but MAN do they need it.  When they get tired, they get MEAN and take it out on each other.  GAH, the fighting...make it stop!!! 

In other news, I have made it through the three month post-Essure period, so I am anxious to go for my HSG to see if it worked.  I was supposed to go last week, but Mother Nature decided to throw me a curveball and send Aunt Flo a whole TEN days early, so they couldn't do the HSG.  Grr.  (That was the one good thing about birth control...more reliable cycles, man!)  Anyway, I will go this Wednesday and hopefully get the news that my tubes are all blocked up and we're officially safe from any surprise pregnancies.  Fingers crossed!

So what's new with you all??

Sigh...It gets better, right??

What a day.  After yesterday's meltdown, I went to bed @ 10 pm, hoping for a good night's sleep.  Not happening.  I woke up about an hour after turning out the light and commenced vomiting like I haven't vomited in a long, long time.  Fun.  Then the diarrhea hit.  Awesome.  It finally slacked off @ 2 am, but then I was so drained and crampy that I just couldn't rest.  Chris woke up around 6:30 am and I fell asleep then.  I woke up at 8:30 and was feeling better.  I ate some crackers and immediately felt nauseous again.  We had to go run some errands, and I made it through all that, thank God.  I ate some chicken noodle soup when we got home, and that did NOT go well.  I've been back in the bathroom ever since.  Ugh.

The kids have been whiny and fighting like crazy, too.  I'm sure that the nails-on-a-chalkboard sound of Andrew and Hannah both screaming and crying all day has not helped with my stomach's attempt to recover.  The sibling rivalry is killing me, y'all.  I have a book (somewhere) called Siblings Without Rivalry.  The title makes me laugh, but I am considering finding it and giving it a chance.  Can't make it any worse, right?  I mean, seriously...Intellectually, I know that these days will pass far too quickly and I should enjoy every minute with them while they are young and still *want* their mama.  I can't help but think there's something to be said for an older child who can wipe their own butt, get their own dinner/snack/drink, and entertain themselves for more than 5 minutes.  Sigh.  I've been having a few really negative days lately, and I seriously need to get a proper perspective back.

As I try to do that, let me share a really funny story.  Andrew and I were waiting to get his replacement glasses (remember how I broke a pair of his glasses the FIRST DAY we had them?) and as we were waiting, he started telling me he didn't really want the second pair.  He insisted he was never going to need the second pair so we should just save them for Hannah's babies.  I asked him exactly when these babies were going to be born...I mean, the girl is only three years old.  It is far too soon (and does really bad things to my heart and stomach) to talk about Hannah having babies.  Anyway, he said it would be a long time, but she was going to have two children.  One would be a boy named Friend Avery.  (Andrew has two Averys in his life.  One is a girl, his cousin, and one is a boy, his BFF.  He calls them Friend Avery and Cousin Avery so we can tell them apart.  Apparently Hannah's first son should be named after Andrew's BFF.)  The next child, he tells me, will be a girl named Brownie Girl.  (We have a kitten named Brownie, who is a boy.  Apparently it will be very important to name this baby girl Brownie Girl so we can distinguish the baby from the kitten.)

It amazes me how his little mind works.  I love having these little talks with him, and moments like those kinda sorta make all the chaos and headache worthwhile.

Tired.

*Disclaimer:  If you can't handle the brutal truth about those "bad mommy moments" that we all have (whether we admit it or not) and are going to judge me for the perhaps too-honest things I might say in this post, you might not want to keep reading.  I have GOT to vent some negative feelings somewhere, and this is my blog, so I can say what I want.  Don't like it?  Don't keep reading.  'Nuff said...You have been warned.

It has been one.of.those.days.  Not sure if its the 11 hr days that are getting to me, the constant fighting/crying since the kids got home yesterday, or just the fact that school is starting and the stress is at maximum level, but I am in one helluva mood.  I am so tired.  Sick AND tired.

*I'm tired of the kids' bedtime routine taking nearly two hours.
*I'm tired of my house constantly smelling like sh!t because I have six cats, one of who refuses to crap in the litter box, and one who refuses to cover its crap when it *does* use the litter box.
*I'm tired of picking sh!t up off the floor four times a day because of aforementioned cat who refuses to take a dump in the litter box.
*I'm tired of my floors being constantly covered in a layer of Georgia clay, no matter how often I sweep and mop.
*I'm tired of my feet being caked in dirt because of the Georgia clay that gets tracked in by anyone and everyone (but mostly I blame the dogs).
*I'm tired of my bed sheets being a brown color because of my dirty feet.
*I'm tired of picking up 2,485 toys every night because Hannah simply MUST have every.single.toy out in order to play with anything.
*I'm tired of losing my temper and yelling at Hannah every.single.night because she refuses to just go the eff to sleep!  
*I'm tired of my husband sleeping in the guest room every night because the Doberman insists on sleeping beside me and I'm too much of a wimp to kick her out of the bed.  (Plus, I snore, so...)
*I'm tired of feeling like the worst mommy in the world.

I have a feeling this is something my kids will make for me one day...

Heaving myself back on the wagon...

Back in January ( you know, the month of all those starry-eyed, well-intentioned New Years Resolutions), I committed to beginning and maintaining an exercise routine.  I did really well on beginning a routine!  I was going to Zumba twice a week and was spending time with Jillian on a daily basis, courtesy of the 30 Day Shred DVD.  It was great.  I felt better, my attitude was better, and I lost 15 lbs!

Maintaining the regimen, however, proved to be a way more difficult task.  I tried and tried, but my birthday happened, then April came (and with it, state testing time and MAJOR stress), and the workouts became a thing of the past.  Here it is, nearly August, and I have yet to haul my big ol' butt back onto the workout wagon.

Intellectually, I *know* how much better I feel when I work out, I know how much it helps my stress levels, and of course there's the added benefit of all my clothes fitting in a much more pleasing way...but when you're in the midst of the craziness and stress and just day-to-day life, its just.so.hard. to find the motivation.  This summer has been extra crazy because Hannah has been clingy (and I mean SUPER clingy...like, to the point where I was getting concerned that she was having emotional problems or something!  Fortunately I have some awesome friends who lie to me put my mind at ease and I feel confident its something she will grow out of.)  Anyway, her velcro-like attachment to me has been so physically and emotionally draining that, even when I get a minute to myself, I don't want to go upstairs and put Jillian in the DVD player...I just want to sit in a dark room with a cold rag over my eyes and enjoy the silence.

So, here's my point.  Now that school starts back on Monday, I feel like its the perfect time for a new beginning and a new commitment to take better care of myself.  Today is Friday and I've got Bunco tonight...LOVE Bunco nights (better than Zoloft!)...so I am looking forward to letting loose with my girlfriends tonight.  Next week, though, its back to work...and back to being BFF's with Jillian.  I would appreciate any and all accountability!  I figure if I post it here and someone, somewhere, actually reads it, maybe they will help me stay on track and not let me get sidetracked or make excuses.  I am basically asking for someone to kick my butt when I need it so I don't give up and let the stress get this out of control again.  :)  Thanks!

Grumpy Day

Today has been one.of.those.days.

Not sure why, other than the fact that Hannah was up and down from 5 am until 6:30, when I finally gave up and let her stay up (and I am EXHAUSTED).  Maybe PMS?  Hmm.  Don't know.  All I know is, I think I set a record for the number of curse words running through my mind all day long.  Amazing how many times the F word can enter one's mind.  At least I didn't let it fly out of my mouth!  That's something...

The day started EARLY, of course, and by 9 am we were at the Kelleytown Kids consignment sale.  That was fun!  Along with some cute fall clothes and a couple of bags of cheap toys, we got Hannah a new carseat.  I think the reason she's been so resistant to getting in her seat is because the straps were too small.  The girl has been growing and I didn't even realize her seat was probably getting uncomfortable!  We got her a booster seat with the high back and she is SO much more comfortable and fits so much better in it.  She loved it and I'm hoping for no more battles about getting in the car, now that she has a seat that's not too small.  Sheesh.  I can't believe I didn't notice this beforehand.

Besides the car seat, we also picked up a bike with training wheels for Andrew.  We have a bike (handed down from a cousin) but its still too tall for our short little boy.  This one fit him perfectly and had a matching helmet, so he is excited about it.  I'm hoping he will be interested in learning how to ride, now that he has an appropriately-sized bike.

image from Rants from Mommyland

After getting home from the sale,  the kids and I came home for lunch and a rest.  Chris had errands to run, so it was just me and them.  Don't know if anyone has heard me say it yet but Hannah has been my little hemorrhoid for the summer (always up my butt!) and it.is.driving.me.crazy.  I just need a little space.  This was already a grumpy day, so between Andrew's whining and Hannah's clinginess, I LOST IT.  I completely lost my schmidt.  In case you don't read the amazing, hilarious, awesome blog Rants from Mommyland, there is a whole "Mommy's Losing Her Schmidt" threat level advisory system.  I totally need to print it out and post it (preferably on every door in my house) because the kids did NOT see the warning signs and when I lost it, they were in shock.

I told them (in a loud, firm voice) that I was tired of the whining.  I was tired of being told "no" every.single.time I made any kind of request.  I was tired of being ignored and having to give directions five times before they even noticed I was talking.  They were sent to separate couches for a time out.  No TV, no toys, just quiet time on the couch.  I am proud that I didn't resort to spanking them or yelling, but I did kinda slip over the edge there and I feel guilty about it.  GAH.  Motherhood is HARD.

So anyway, when Chris got home I totally went upstairs and crashed for three hours.  Still grumpy.  Hoping tomorrow I wake up on the right side of the bed.  I only have three more days before I head back to work, and I don't want to spend them all pissed off.

Pray for me, y'all...or maybe just pray for my hubby & kids!

Its About Time!

So much has gone wrong lately...Over the past few months, we've had to deal with appliances dying and needing to be replaced, our beloved cat getting sick and dying, and of course all of Andrew's issues with his eyes and ears.  Fortunately, my bargain hunter of a husband helped us find the best deals on a new microwave and, most recently, a new washing machine!  We just got a washer (HE!  Fancy!) from Home Depot for only $150!  We just today had to buy a new digital camera because our camera decided to die on us.  (And I am NOT one who can live for very long without taking pictures of my kids or pets!)  I am *so* blessed to have an internet-savvy husband who knows the best sites to get the best deals when these things happen...so even when they all happen at the same time, its not as hard (financially speaking) to take care of things.

Kitty B was home with us for 10 days after leaving the vet hospital.  We had to syringe-feed her and take care of her every need, since she never regained the ability to walk. I always knew diabetes would kill her one day, but I wasn't expecting it so soon.  We loved her like our own child, and she was a huge part of our lives for more than 13 years.  Chris was with her when she died (as it should be), and he came to wake me at 4:30 am when she passed.  We had some time alone with her before the kids woke up and we had to break the news to them.  They were so sweet and helped us bury her properly, right next to Toby, our cat who passed away a year and a half ago. The kids, the four kittens, our other two adult cats, and our two dogs have brought so much comfort to us and made us grateful for all the joy in our lives.

As far as Andrew's issues...if you've read my blog (or Facebook status updates), you might know that our state requires eye, ear, and dental checkups before enrolling for kindergarten.  When we went to get this done, we discovered major issues with Andrew's eyes and ears.  He failed his hearing test twice, and when we took him to the first eye doctor, he referred us to a specialist because of his special eye issues.  Fortunately, the dental exam went great (no cavities)!

I posted last week about Andrew's eye appt with the specialist...In case you didn't see what happened, you can read about it here.  We hope to get his new glasses sometime later this week.  He picked up some really cool frames and he's excited to get them. 

Today Andrew had his third hearing test.  He failed the first test at the pediatrician's office and was referred to an audiologist that works with the kids in the school system here.  He failed the test he took there and was referred back to the ped for antibiotics since there was evidence of fluid in his ears.  We were told to return 4-6 weeks after finishing the antibiotics, which we did.  Fortunately, everything was perfect today and he passed with flying colors!  Whew!

Like I said, it was about time for some good news!  How about you all?  What good stuff has happened in your lives lately?

Crazy Days of Summer

Its that time of year again...Just over a month into summer break and I'm starting to itch to get out of the house and get back to work.  I know, I know, some most people would say I'm crazy for feeling this way, but I really think that if they were in my shoes they might change their tune.  None of my friends have husbands that are stay-at-home dads, so no one else I know gets to go home and endure enjoy 24/7 togetherness with their husbands and kids.  That's ALL DAY, EVERY DAY people.

Don't get me wrong:  I love my husband and I love my kids.  Being a stay-at-home dad has been great for our family and we've been blessed to be able to afford one parent staying home with the kiddos, but it is wearing on him.  This is definitely not Chris' "calling."  He gets frustrated and wants to go back to work, and I hope he is able to do so very soon.  I mess everything up as far as routines go (since they're used to having one parent in charge and now there's two...) so it causes a lot of conflict and "adjustment" and its just hard.  The kids do better (and we get along so much better) when we have some time and space apart.  I know for a fact I am a much better mommy and wife when I get out and get to do what I love.  Maybe I need to line up a tutoring job or something. :)

So, anyway...Today has been ROUGH and I feel like my nerves are just shot.  All day long I've felt like I've been on the edge of a knife and I've been struggling to keep it together all day long.  Probably has something to do with the fact that our beloved kitty is so sick and its kinda like taking care of a newborn...sleepless nights and pure exhaustion.  Oh, and I decided to try weaning myself from Zoloft this summer.  Ha!  I'll be taking some tonight, for sure.

I'm thinking maybe summer is NOT the time to test my ability to maintain my sanity without Zoloft.  I feel much better, physically and emotionally, when I am working.  Maybe I will try again once I get back in the swing of things.  Only 18 more days until teachers go back for pre-planning!  (Shut up, I know I'm nuts.)

Bad Mommy Confession #2,486

This could be a reeeeally long post with all the stuff I've done to mess up/drop the ball/inevitably send my kids to therapy, but today I'm focusing on just one of these "bad mommy moments."

Today, Andrew will have his first ever dental appointment. Yep.  First.ever.  How old is he?  Yeah, well he's FIVE years old.  I know!  Kids are "supposed" to go to the dentist after they get their first tooth.  Well, that happened when he was four months old, so...yep, pretty much exactly five years ago.  I have no excuse.  I have no idea why I have waited so long.  I guess we just stayed busy (ha!  doesn't everyone?) and it was one of those things that slipped through the cracks. 

You'd think that, given my personal dental history, I would know better.  I honestly believe I have a filling in every tooth that is able to be filled.  Cavities galore, people.  Part of its heredity, part of its laziness (and hatred of dental floss), but I really do want better for my kids...so WHY did I do this??

Funny thing is...The only reason he's going now (despite the hundreds of times when I've said to Chris, "man, we really need to get these kiddos to the dentist!") is that our state requires a dental exam for all kids who register for Kindergarten.  Since he's headed to school in August, guess where we are headed?  Yep.

What's gonna be so fun about this is that my boy is not fond of people messing with him in any way.  He cries all the way through hair cuts, nail trims (well, those are more like full-on wrestling matches), etc.  I can't imagine what its going to be like having a dentist look around in his mouth, trying to get x-rays and clean those little chiclet teeth.  I have advised the dentist that he might want to have some kid-friendly sedation on hand.

Oh, and I went ahead and made an appointment for Hannah.  She goes tomorrow.