As I rocked him, I asked him if he knew that mommy loved him no matter what. His answer made me stop rocking & singing and just think. He looked me in the eyes and said, "I know you love me, but Mommy, do you love yourself?"
Ummm...
I didn't know how to answer. I don't want to lie to my kid, so I said yes, I did, but that I love him more. He told me that he loves himself just as much as he loves me. That kid...I have already learned so much from him, but tonight he taught me a big lesson.
Lord knows I need to work on my self-esteem and loving myself...That's just going to take a lot of self-talk that is encouraging vs. discouraging. I need to believe what God tells me...that I am His child and He loves me just as I am. I need to believe my husband and friends who tell me they love me and that I'm worth something instead of shrugging it off and falling into the self-deprecation cycle. I probably to talk to someone and get through these issues so I can better get through these rough patches.I read this post tonight on SDL's blog (check it out if you haven't!) and it hit me hard. Not so much the "blaming men" part, although I think he has a point for sure, but seriously...all the self-talk that women do to themselves that makes us feel worthless? Its ridiculous and needs to stop. As Stuart Smalley would say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"
2 comments:
Ok now, so I've actually commented on several of your posts but then I had to give more info to sign up (for whatever it is that you have to sign up for in order to leave comments) and I wasn't comfortable with that, but this post made me change my mind........And if you followed that then you must read on.
Anna, you are a beautiful and spectacular woman with one of the most wonderful souls I have ever been graced to befriend. Don't let Satan give you these thoughts because that's where they are coming from. There are so many people in your life that truly love and need you and you are doing a spectacular job. We don't have to be perfect. We just have to show the people in our lives that we love them and I know you do that! Don't beat yourself up 'cause I don't think God would want you to do that. He loves you more than we do and we don't want that negativity in your life so He doesn't either! And you are spot on when you quote Stuart Smalley........"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!" Spot on.....
Juanita - Thank you so much! I really needed that! You are so sweet...I truly appreciate all you do and I am SO glad I had the opportunity to get to know you better! Thanks for working so hard to make Zumba so much FUN! Love you!
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